What that you say... It's okay not to be okay!

Do you ever feel compelled to snap out of a funk as soon as possible? To always appear cheerful? But what if we accept that not being okay is a necessary part of being okay?

A rough patch, a bad day, a major setback. Sometimes, it seems like one thing goes wrong after another and another, and another. Sometimes an unexpected challenge or an obstacle might come your way, and you find yourself stressing out, worrying, and not knowing what to do. And, some days, you just have nothing. Zero motivation, no creativity. All of a sudden, you're being plagued with self-doubt.

I've been feeling down recently for a number of reasons, including inconsistencies with my health, feeling professionally inadequate, dealing with repressed emotions that have surfaced, and simply feeling a little lost. I feel intense pressure from no one in particular, or perhaps from myself, I'm not sure, to snap out of this funk as soon as possible. I've found myself apologizing to people for being a 'Debbie Downer' when I'm with them or speaking to them because I believe the expectation is for me to always be cheerful. If I'm not, I'm somehow letting myself and others down.

But I've realized that, while I'm not being my 'ordinary self,' I am being my most authentic self in that moment. That is why it is acceptable not to be okay. Let me say that again for the people in the back.

IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY!

It irritates me when people tell me to 'be grateful for what I have' and 'have some perspective.' Just because everything else in your life is going well doesn't mean your feelings of sadness aren't valid. I am thankful. I have perspective. But I am also a human being, and I believe that experiencing emotional highs and lows is normal. You can put on a happy face, be calm, be in a loving relationship, enjoy your job, and do everything else right and still not be okay. And that's okay!

It is never appropriate for others to tell us how we should or should not process our emotions simply because they have an outside assumption about our life. You never need to justify why you're not okay. You certainly don't need to apologize for it, which I find very liberating.

When we have feelings of happiness, we are free to enjoy them. As a result, when we experience sadness, we have the ability to own it. So, rather than rushing to overcome them, perhaps we should simply accept them. Because by accepting them, we can begin to recognize that having low points is a normal and balanced part of life.

We would not value the high points as much if the low points did not exist. And I've learned that difficult times pass, even if they appear to last forever. So when I've come through the other side before, I've felt enlightened because it's an opportunity to re-evaluate what I want, how I'm going to get there, and whom I wish to accompany me on the journey.

I believe it is critical that we relieve ourselves of the pressure to figure it all out right away and instead learn to take the time we need to feel down and allow time to heal us. And, while it may sound cliche, after going through a rough patch, a bad day, or a major setback, you really emerge stronger, knowing yourself better and naturally bouncing back faster the next time it happens.